Everything's Rosy

by Shy Crooner

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    Digital lyrics book, with photography and album art by Bryan Schneider, included only with purchase of the album.

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Unedited, unmastered, and occasionally unrehearsed, this collection of tracks includes the intimate home recordings of songwriter Shy Crooner.


released June 20, 2017

All songs written and preformed by Shy Crooner.
This album is produced by Getzmore Cash.
Cover photography and album art by Bryan Schneider.



all rights reserved


Shy Crooner New York, New York

Shy Crooner is a songwriter based in New York City. He is best known for his songwriting collaborations with Edwin Duke in The Crooner & Duke Revue.

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Track Name: Petty Breakman
Well I’m down here in the Valley
Beneath volcanoes of debt
They say Heaven hangs so high above
But the light hasn’t reached me yet

You say I’m just a petty Breakman
You say it’s a Conductor that you want
But don’t you know the Conductor just leads you on
And only the Breakman can get you off
Track Name: Vaguely Amused
Well I sat down to write you a letter
And put down what I have in my heart
I tried again and again
With a paper and pen
I got a wastebasket full
Of unworthy starts

So I leaned back and turned on the T.V.
And I starred at the flicking lights
I watched a show or two
I was vaguely amused
And then I undressed and turned myself
In for the night

I’m pretty sure I didn’t dream nothing
Or if I did, I just can’t recall
And as I got out of bed
I had nothing in my head
Or if I did, it wasn’t important at all

I don’t think of you very often
Some days I do, and some days I don’t
And if you ask if I will
Try to write to you again still
Maybe I will . . .
Then again, maybe I wont
Track Name: The Ballad of Yes and No
Woah, oh, oh.
Track Name: Drunk in the Kitchen
I’m getting drunk in the kitchen darling
I sneak them in where nobody sees
Where my thoughts are as filthy as the dishes
And the oven’s as hollow as me

We’ll I need money, like a baker kneads dough
Don’t the fridge and the freezer make a lovely combo?

I’m getting drunk in the kitchen darling
I wish you’d just let me be
Or else, come get drunk with me!
Track Name: Cigarette Girl
Well, you just missed
The Cigarette Girl
I don’t believe she’ll be coming round again
They say smoke ‘em while you got ‘em
They say you got to get ‘em while you can
But come this time tomorrow
She won’t be lugging her tray around
She’s packing up her uniform
Nobody will be flagging her down
Track Name: Time Capsule
My heart is like a paper towel
Being wrung like a bell
You can’t have a word without a vowel
(Daddy? Would you like to put something . . .?)
You can’t have a curse without a spell
(Daddy? Would you like to put something in my time capsule?)
Yes, I would.
Track Name: Merry Andrew
Come listen to my story
I’ll tell you no lie
How a Merry Andrew conquered
From the top of the Great Divide

He shouted from the mountain
Each channel amplified
And it echoed through the country
From the top of the Great Divide

He saw the wounds of the people
And he tore them open wide
Torn like the snow that’s melting
At the top of the Great Divide

From the peak of the mountain
Some go left, and some go right
But some toil on the ridgeline
At the top of the Great Divide

Merry Andrew, Merry Andrew
Won’t you tell me your mind?
Do you intend to rule from
The top of the Great Divide?
Track Name: Estuaries of Love and Hate
I tell you this, my only son
For you are old enough now to know
There is only sky above you
And only earth below

And I send you out past the horizon
Past these estuaries of love and hate
On a boat just big enough for one
Through the seas of chance to the shores of fate
Track Name: Typical Week
Monday, magnificent, Monday
I bask in the glory of the light
But by the time Tuesday comes
I’m just a regular bum
Don’t give a dam what’s wrong
Don’t give a dam what’s right

And Wednesday I feel pain so deeply
But Thursday I just turn a blind eye
And you know I can’t recall
Friday or Saturday at all
But come Sunday . . .
Come Sunday . . .
Come Sunday I’m ready to die.
Track Name: Wedding Song
Wedding Song

Picked up a Quarter from the floor
Of my own house
And felt so lucky

Turned on the Radio and listened
To the traffic and the weather

Sunny day, seventy-five
Highways clear as the sky

So I dug out my best suit
A perfect day for a wedding

Let us renew the vows between
Coincidence and premonition

Let us renew the vows between
Evidence and intuition

Let us renew the vows between
Scientist and politician